By Ben Quine
**This article is part of a series written by Ben Quine that takes us through the whole of Scripture to discover what God has to say about how we as believers in Jesus Christ should conduct ourselves both inside the church and outside in our public and private lives. You will discover that the Word of God has much to say about our conduct.

What’s something that makes you uncomfortable? Maybe fingernails on a chalkboard? Or the sound of a fork scratching on a plate? As children of God, we are called to “speak the truth in love,” something that is often very uncomfortable for all parties involved. But like taking a distasteful but life-giving medicine, the truth is vital for health.

Biblical Correction

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (II Timothy 3:16-17)

Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt. (Leviticus 19:17)

Rebuking, pointing out faults, correcting, exposing error, and showing people what is wrong in their lives are all concepts our culture is very uncomfortable with, but which the Bible encourages. As theologian Dr. Francis Schaeffer put it:

Truth carries with it confrontation. Truth demands confrontation; loving confrontation, but confrontation nevertheless. (Francis A. Schaeffer)

Scripture does not say to never cause people pain, but it does say to speak the truth. And because we are all sinners, rebuke is needed regularly. If you feel tempted to not share the truth because it’s uncomfortable, you’re not alone. But don’t give in to this temptation!

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. (Romans 1:18)

Withholding the truth is a mark of the unrighteous. Though we are all tempted to avoid confrontation and conflict, it takes courage to extend love to a friend by urging them to turn from wrongdoing and to do what is right. Every believer is called to speak the truth to our neighbors and family. 

There are, of course, biblical limits on appropriate speech:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

God wants our talk to build each other up and never to tear down or corrupt those who hear.

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:4)

Obscenity, coarse joking, filthy language are not godly. That kind of speech does not honor God and must be avoided.

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. (James 3:9-10)

God tells us never to curse our fellow human beings — we are brothers and sisters.

Do you see a pattern emerging?

These are the general rules for Christian speech:

1. Our words must be absolutely true; they should expose the spiritual situation. (e.g. “You are a sinner, and without the forgiveness that comes from Jesus Christ, you are facing God’s judgement.” Or “This is what God’s Word teaches about how we should live…” See also: John the Baptist, Jesus, Stephen, and Paul all speaking truth about morality, sin, salvation, etc.)

2. Our words must build others up and give them the opportunity to evaluate their lives and repent. (e.g. “You are wrong. I love you and can’t bear to see you hurt yourself. Please turn around. Please repent.” See also: the prophets calling Israel a whore.)

3. Our words must never be unwholesome talk: obscenity, cursing, words which wish harm on others, cut down, or are otherwise not inline with God’s own character (e.g. we should never think or say, “#!@#$ you!” or “I hope you go to Hell!”)

There are three common objections to speaking the truth that we must be on guard against:

Just the Gospel

I have had numerous Christians tell me that, in order to avoid “unnecessary conflict”, they have decided to speak the truth, but limit their message to only “the Gospel” — that is, how one can be saved — not talking about any controversial or social issues. Did Jesus and the prophets limit their message to “just the Gospel”?

It is vitally important to preach the Gospel, but Scripture does not recognize the arbitrary and artificial division between “the Gospel” and any other life topic. Since all of the Bible’s teaching flows from God’s character, His wisdom, and His work on our behalf, we must never suppress God’s truth concerning daily life. 

Opting to teach only spiritual salvation without communicating God’s instruction for earthly life is inconsistent with the lives of our biblical heroes. John the Baptist was murdered for speaking the truth about the king’s marriage. Amos’ main focus was on justice in society. The books of James and Proverbs are filled with wisdom for daily life. Even Jesus himself applied spiritual truths to practical issues like money, family, government, and morality. 

Count the Cost

Another temptation for believers is to focus on “the potential harm done to the reputation of their ministry” by teaching the Bible’s stance on controversial topics such as creation, sin, economics, sexuality, justice, or judgment. It is a tragic situation indeed when churches adopt the position, “If we teach this biblical truth, people will tune out or leave, so we must not cover this topic.” 

Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God. (Acts 20:26-27) 

Paul stated that his willingness to teach on every topic was a contributing factor in his innocence. Jesus freely acknowledged that many people do not want to hear difficult teaching.

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. (Matthew 7:13-14)

Jesus understood that the majority of people would not like his message, but he did not alter the substance of his teaching in order to gain more followers.

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. (Luke 9:23)

Following Jesus is a serious commitment and should never be entered into lightly. It requires giving him control over everything in our life, dying to self, and suffering shame and exposure to the world’s ridicule. We must never let popularity obstruct the truth of God’s message! 

Presentation

When we share the truth, we don’t have to worry about having a brilliant, eloquent presentation, or “lofty speech or wisdom“ (I Corinthians 2:1). The most important thing is to simply, boldly, and clearly state God’s Word, remembering to “do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.” (I Peter 3:15) 

Pray for your pastors, that they will have the boldness to teach the whole council of God. Encourage them to do so, no matter what the earthly cost! 

Maybe up until now you’ve felt like speaking the truth to those around you is like fingernails on a chalkboard? But just think about how important a job this is:

“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (I Peter 3:10-12) (emphasis added)

Scripture is clear: if we desire to love life and see good days, we must turn away from evil and do good. If our friends, our neighbors, and our cities are to see good days, they must turn away from evil and do good. And the only way to know what is evil and what is good is to dig deeply into God’s pure and perfect Word. That’s why we must base our lives on God’s Word and why we must share it with those around us – Scripture alone is a sure and solid foundation for life.

But truth alone is not enough, there is another main piece to God’s command to “speak the truth in love,” and we will look at love in the next few articles…